The Ferocious Finnish
by InvaderNick
Summary: Stuff that happened after 13 book. Probably has some spoilers. What happens to Beatrice, Klaus, VIolet and sunny when they leave the island. They get picked up by the F.F.P. hehehe feminists
1. Chapter 1

For Beatrice –

My love for you is eternal, very unlike your life.

**Chapter 1**

The story of the three Baudelaire children was a sad and miserable one. Unfortunately I, Lemony Snicket have researched that horrible tale. To make things even worse, I have written down every sad and miserable tale of their lives down on paper. To makes things even more heart-wrenching for me, I had to go over and over their tale while revising it and showing how truly miserable their miserable lives truly were. Fortunately for me, my connection to the Baudelaire's was over, or so I thought. The Baudelaire's sad story was published and released to the public, whose lives were already miserable enough. I thought from there that a few unfortunate people would pick up one or two of the unfortunate books and quickly put it down and walk away with one bit of knowledge of the orphans'. Though, many people instead picked up every last installment of the thirteen unfortunate books describing the unfortunate lives of the three unfortunate children. From there on I saw my books everywhere. Finally when Book the Thirteenth was released I thought it was over. But, here I am researching more and more of their lives.

Fortunately though, this is not the tale of the unfortunate tale of the three unfortunate children of the two unfortunate Baudelaire parents who were the unfortunate children of the many unfortunate ancestors of the unfortunate public that lives unfortunately in this unfortunate world of our unfortunate lives. Fortunately this is the fortunate tale of the fortunate child of the unfortunate sister of me, the unfortunate writer of the unfortunate tale of the three unfortunate children of the two unfortunate Baudelaire parents who were the unfortunate children of the many unfortunate ancestors of the unfortunate public that lives unfortunately in this unfortunate world of our unfortunate lives. This is the fortunate tale of Beatrice Snicket. Unfortunately not the Beatrice Snicket who could have been the unfortunate wife of me, the unfortunate writer of the unfortunate tale of the three unfortunate children of the two unfortunate Baudelaire parents who were the unfortunate children of the many unfortunate ancestors of the unfortunate public that lives unfortunately in this unfortunate world of our unfortunate lives. This is the tale of Beatrice Snicket, daughter of the unfortunate Kit Snicket who was the unfortunate sister of me, the writer of the unfortunate tale of the three unfortunate children of the two unfortunate Baudelaire parents who were the unfortunate children of the many unfortunate ancestors of the unfortunate public that lives unfortunately in this unfortunate world of our unfortunate lives.

Beatrice Snicket lived a fortunate life. When she wanted something to happen, things usually went her way. Meanwhile the Baudelaire's life didn't go their way. Beatrice Snicket found many answers to all the questions she craved answers to, unlike the Baudelaire's who had barely any of their endless questions answered. Surprisingly though, while the three Baudelaires' lived on their lives unfortunately and Beatrice lived on her life fortunately, they spent a big portion of their unfortunate and fortunate lives together.

The end of the unfortunate tale of the Baudelaire children had come and the beginning of the new, fortunate tale of Beatrice had begun. While reading this you may find it helpful if you had read the Series of Unfortunate events, but those books are so miserable that I wish you haven't and never will. Now on the sea where so many unfortunate events, like the sinking of the titanic, the death of many of the Baudelaire's friends and the death of the followers of a man named Ishmael, had occurred, the Baudelaire orphans and the Snicket orphan sailed off towards the horizon and away from a tropical paradise which was truly the last safe place.

"Kaboot!!!" Beatrice shrieked and pointed off towards the horizon. By this Beatrice probably meant something along the lines of _I think I see something!_ As most toddlers do, Beatrice could not speak normally, but instead shrieked out gibberish.

"Really?" Sunny asked and covered her eyes and searched the horizon. Sunny who had once spoken just like Beatrice, now talked in full sentences. The youngest Baudelaire had sharp teeth and loved to use them to bite things. At the moment she was teething on an apple core she had left over from a bitter apple she had earlier devoured. Sunny also, had learned lately she was able to whip up wonderful meals with her talent for cooking.

"Beatrice! You've been saying that for the last three weeks!" Violet sighed. "Just like the past three days, it's just another cloud!" Violet, the eldest of the Baudelaire children was staring at the pile of the cores of the bitter apples the four of them had all consumed for food and some rope they had left over from supplies they used. Anyone who knew Violet well would know that the fact she had her hair tied up with her pink ribbon meant that she was trying to invent something. Violet would tie her hair up in a knot so she could keep her hair out of her eyes so she was able to think well. She was at the moment trying to invent a way to turn the apple cores and rope into a fishing pole.

"Violet, I don't think it's a cloud on the horizon this time!" Klaus, the middle Baudelaire exclaimed. Previously Klaus had just been reading a book called _How to Sail a Home-Made Boat_. Within such a book the author explains exactly how to sail a home-boat. Klaus loved to read. From all his reading he had already gathered more information at age 15 than many people do in their life time. Back before his parents' lives and their house were destroyed along with its huge library, Klaus would sit in bed with a flash light reading into the night. Sometimes he would even wake up the next morning with a book and a flashlight still grasped in his hand.

"Kaboot!" Beatrice shrieked once again, now that someone had believed her. "Kaboot!"

Violet squint her eyes and scanned the horizon. All around there seemed to only be clouds. But, alas Beatrice had seen something. On the far horizon, barely visible was the small, shadowy figure of a ship. "A SHIP!!!" Violet yelled with joy.

"Ship?!" Sunny yelped and threw the apple core into the air.

"It is!" Klaus sighed with relief. "We have to signal it!"

"But, how?" Violet asked. "I don't think that they can see us. Our little raft must look like just a tiny spec in the water from over there."

"Well, hopefully they're anchored. Then we could probably get close enough to them by the end of tonight." Klaus explained. "Then we'd just need to send a signal to them so they could come to us. Or if they're moving, hopefully they're coming in our direction."

"But, what are the chances?" Sunny asked.

"THREE!!!" Beatrice screamed and clapped her hands. "Three! Three! Three!" She giggled.

"Three?" Violet questioned Beatrice.

"Out of what?" Sunny pondered out loud.

"Whether the chance is… three… or not, we have to start sailing towards them." Klaus recommended.

"The sails are already up. Our boat isn't very easy to change the direction of. As long as they're just letting the winds carry them also, we'll meet up with them eventually. I think…" Violet figured.

"If we were to position the sails on a slight angle we might end up in the same position." Klaus estimated. So the three Baudelaires started to pull ropes and play around with the sails until the sails were positioned just right.

Meanwhile young Beatrice Kit watched in glee as she intently tried to memorize how to work the sails.

If you have ever chased some one for hours on hours, you know exactly how chasing the far off ship on the horizon didn't feel at all. Chasing someone is exciting, although it could be very tiring. Chasing a boat is the exact opposite. Nothing seems to change. A boat never gets tired and slows down, or gets a sudden boost of energy and almost catches its victim. Slowly and unsurely the boat sails around as the other goes the same rate as before. This can make someone very restless. Chasing a person on foot could be very exciting and tiresome while chasing on boats is almost always boring and hard to sit still in.

"Pirates…" Klaus suddenly spat out. The ship had slowly been coming into a clearer view. Klaus had the best eyes from reading, making him the first to receive the unfortunate news. The ship was an old fashioned ship from the sixteen hundreds. Its sails were pitch black with the white figure of a skull and two crossed bones.

"Pirates?" Violet asked aloud.

"Pirates?" Sunny pondered aloud.

"Pirates?" Beatrice wondered aloud.

"Pirates." Klaus repeated aloud. The word pirates used here can mean two things. One meaning is someone who practices robbery of ships on the high seas. I once knew a child who did such a thing. Meanwhile his parents were down in the lower seas stealing from boats, while his sisters, uncles, aunts, grandpas, grandmas, second cousins, second cousins twice removed, third cousins, third cousins three thousand, four hundred, forty six times removed and other weird types of relatives that I have only heard of in Germany were in the middle seas taking things without permission from rafts.

Another meaning is someone who practices the action of unauthorized use of a copyrighted or patented work. Although I don't know anyone, or have I known anyone who practices to get ready for the real thing, I have known people who had committed the actual crime. I once even knew a man who without authorization used copyrighted or patented work to entertain himself while he was on the high seas stealing, taking things without permission and robbing ships.

"Or at the least some people using an old fashioned pirate ship as transportation." Klaus explained. "I don't know why anyone would use an old pirate ship for transportation. Modern day ships are much more comfortable."

"So… what do we do?" Violet asked.

"Safe or sorry?" Sunny thought aloud.

"Hide or Seek?" Beatrice wondered. Beatrice had always enjoyed playing the game of hide and seek with her fellow orphan friends back on the island, although if you think about it many of us do enjoy that game. Every day we hide from our enemies and seek those who we desire answers to questions from.

"If we hide, we might be losing a chance to have a safer journey to land." Klaus considered.

"But, if we seek we might fall into the clutches of some modern day pirates." Violet countered. For awhile the four orphans stay still on their little boat, with their sails down and thinking about what to do.

"No choice." Sunny finally spoke up.

"What?" Violet asked.

"Look." Sunny demanded and pointed at the approaching ship. While the four of them had been on their own little boat, the sailors of the approaching ship had spotted them and decided to seek them out. The ship was quickly gaining on them and they would never be able to out run it. For the four of them, it must of felt pretty strange to one minute be hopelessly trying to catch a far off ship and the next to be stranded in the middle of the ocean like sitting ducks while a humongous ship quickly gained on them leaving them no way to outrun the ship.

"Maybe we'll be saved." Klaus chimed in happily.

"Maybe we'll be destroyed." Violet reminded him.

"Gunkofula…" Beatrice reminded them depressingly. By gonkofula she probably meant something by the means of _Maybe it won't matter at all and those two outcomes we'll be irrelevant. For all we know the people on that ship could either not of seen us or be treacherous people and not care. They could zoom right by us without even hesitating._

But, for these four, a combination of two of those outcomes would be intermixed. Time passed and many thoughts went around in the four orphans' heads. Though in just an instant they would discover these people were not their allies. As the orphans sat on their little boat waiting for the ship to come, they realized they had been seen and that the sailors on the ship were indeed coming for them.

The sane 'coming for you' can mean two different things; one is a very lucky thing and another is a very unfortunate thing. The first meaning usually refers to when you are in trouble and your friends are coming for you so they can bring you out. For example, I was once in a burning shack that was locked from the outside, with only a cow, a bucket of pudding and a very suspicious looking dress that had the price tag of $999.00. Fortunately my friends who happened to be sitting on top of the shack realized as they sat their laughing at the practical joke they had pulled on me and listened as I pleaded to be let out, that the shack was on fire. To my relief, they shouted back to me that they were coming for me and going to save me.

Unfortunately it can also mean that someone is angry at you and wants to come after you so they can get revenge on the task you had just completed to make a fool of them or trouble their lives in any other way. For example I once ran out of a burning shack that contained a cow, a bucket of pudding and a very suspicious looking dress that had the price tag of $999.00. When I finally got out and caught my breath I turned towards my once good friends and yelled "I'm coming for you! You're going to pay for this." Unfortunately the fire had consumed one of them while another was screaming which made the other two unable to hear anything.

Unfortunately for the four orphans, this ship was indeed a pirate ship upon which a group of pirates sailed the 7 seas and several oceans. Not only that but, these pirates who were coming for them, were not coming for them to save them from the trouble of hopelessly floating around in the middle of an ocean or the trouble of the treacherous world around us. They were coming for them so that they could destroy the poor, lost and bored orphans.

At this point in time, the four lost orphans realized this as two lightning fast cannonballs hurled their way. You see, the orphans were a bunch of smart people and when they see cannonballs hurling their way, they are bright enough to understand they are under attack. The closest one whizzed over their heads and splashed into the ocean surface. Waves of all sizes rose up and spread out in all directions. The waves passed by the orphans' little raft, causing all of their items to topple over. Unfortunately just as these first splashes of waves passed over them, the second cannonball landed right next to them. Although the cannonball had missed them by an inch or two, the waves were stronger than before and their ship was flung to the side.

Beatrice, who was extremely light and wasn't able to hold on to anything at the time was flung off the raft into the uninviting and cold waters of the ocean. Meanwhile the Baudelaire's had quickly grabbed onto something stationary and had managed to stay on the raft as they watched Beatrice fly by them. She hit the water with a splash and opened her mouth to scream, but the water had already consumed her.

"Beatrice!" The three Baudelaires yelled in complete fright. Violet quickly let go of the side of the raft and dived into the water. As she franticly searched for her young friend, Beatrice was smiling at the fact that she had just learned how to hold her breath as she sank lower and lower into the water. Finally Violet spotted Beatrice and with much speed, brought her back up to the surface.

When Klaus and Sunny saw Violet with Beatrice in her arms, they quickly pulled the two of them up onto the wooden boat. Meanwhile three more cannonballs were flying towards them. The first one thankfully missed them.

"What's happening?!" Violet pleaded to know.

"I don't know! I don't think these people are very friendly though." Klaus guessed. Another cannonball fell into the ocean far enough away for them not to be affected by it much.

"No really?" Violet asked with much sarcasm.

"Heckler…" Beatrice whimpered as she shivered from the chill she had gotten from being thrown into the ocean water. By this she probably meant something by _I'm very scared and even more confused. Why are these people trying to kill us?_

"It's going to be ok." Sunny comforted Beatrice. In front of them another cannonball slammed into the surface, spraying a wave of water into the orphans' faces. The raft was pushed back and almost tipped over.

"What are we going to do?" Violet cried out.

"JUMP!!!" Klaus suggested without anyone calmness in his voice. Now you know as well as I do that in a situation like this that jumping would probably not fix anything. You might right now be wondering why Klaus wanted to jump with such urgency. If I had my eyes closed and heard that I would've been very confused. Although, the other three passengers had their eyes opened and saw why Klaus wanted them all to jump so much. A cannonball had finally been aimed at them with accuracy. Klaus dove into the water, followed by Sunny. Right before the cannonball slammed into their raft and the wood boat was shattered into seventy five thousand nine hundred sixty two pieces, Violet picked up Beatrice and flew through the air into the safety of the nearby, freezing depths of the ocean.

The four of them quickly resurfaced and grabbed onto pieces of drift wood. Beatrice, who was quite small at the time, climbed completely on top of a piece of drift wood and shook from the coldness of the water. Throughout the lives of the Baudelaires' they had come across many situations where they had very few choices of what action to take. Although, in those situations they had at least had more than one choice of action to take. Unfortunately for them, when you're floating in the middle of the ocean while people are shooting cannonballs at you there is nowhere to go and no way to fight back unless you just happened to be carrying around a very powerful, fully loaded, long ranged gun.

Neither the Baudelaires or Beatrice was carrying a powerful, fully loaded, long ranged gun, let alone could any of them work a powerful, fully loaded, long ranged gun. So instead of fighting back or swimming away the four of them floated there, while dodging very dangerous cannonballs for a long while.

"When are they going to give up?" Klaus asked once cannonballs had stopped coming at them for awhile. He had swum over to a big piece of drift wood to catch his breath and look around.

"Look!" Sunny screeched and pointed towards the deck of the pirate ship. Many figures of pirates scurried onto the deck and started to lift up sails and prepare their equipment.

"They've decided to come to us directly." Klaus concluded.

"Bad?" Beatrice asked while still shivering.

"Yes. Very bad." Violet explained to Beatrice.

"Should we make a plan?" Sunny wondered.

"There's nothing we can plan. We'll just have to wait until they come and see what happens from there." Klaus sighed with desperation.

"What do you think they want from us?" Violet asked.

"Money?" Sunny suggested.

"Elpon?" Beatrice suggested, by this she probably meant _to hurt us?_

"To take us in as prisoners?" Klaus suggested.

"This doesn't make sense though. Why would they think people on a raft would have anything of value? Why would they just randomly want to hurt us? Why would they think four kids on a raft could do any work on a ship?" Violet asked with confusion.

"Hello! Hellooooo, my poor, lost and shipwrecked friends!" A cheery and loud woman's voice rang out from the front of the deck.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew yelled quickly after the woman finished talking.

"Friends?" Sunny asked.

"Just a minute ago they were trying to kill us!" Klaus yelled in a shocked tone. This here does not mean that he had just been shocked by an electric surge of energy, but that he was very surprised by the events that were taking place.

"You may be confused, but we have a good reason for what just happened." The woman started to explain.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted out.

"We did not notice that you were not men." She told the four of them.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew repeated.

"Or at least most of you." The woman said in a disgusted tone.

"Aye…" The crew muttered.

"In just a minute you will be saved and brought up onto my boat, oh happy day!" She cheered.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"Crew, please bring aboard these three lovely young ladies." The woman ordered the crew.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"And then get that… boy…" She said with a crept out tone.

"Aye…" The crew grumbled.

"Why no like Klaus?" Sunny asked.

"Sunny is right." Violet told Klaus. "They don't really seem to like you."

"Maybe that's because the captain seems to be a woman. That's odd though. These kinds of pirates are like the old fashioned kind. They didn't usually have woman for captains. I doubt there were even any women pirates." Klaus informed the rest of them.

As the ship came closer and closer to them they realized that these pirates dressed exactly like the colonial times pirates. Although they were dirty pirates with long shaggy hair, they didn't seem to have many muscles. Many of the crew members had come over to the side of the ship and lowered down a life boat.

"If you do wish to board our ship, climb aboard the life boat and we will pull it back up." The woman explained.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew bellowed out.

"Should we go?" Violet asked.

"Geenk?" Beatrice shrugged. By this she probably meant _do we have any other real choice?_

"They don't like Klaus though." Sunny reminded them.

"Let's just go. There's nothing else to do." Klaus said and swam towards the life boat. Sunny quickly followed as Violet dragged along the piece of drift wood Beatrice was floating on. The all tumbled into the life boat and caught their breath. For the first time in about half an hour, the four of them were able to stop treading water and finally rest their legs. If you have ever treaded water for an hour and a half then tumbled into a life boat some friendly pirates who were just shooting cannonballs at you and smashed your raft had just lowered down you would know how great the four of them felt at this moment. I for instance have been in a situation very similar to the four of them and know how wonderful your legs feel at that point.

"Hoist them up!" The women cried out.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

Slowly the crew lifted them up with much effort. Finally the four children had reached the deck of the ship and staggered onto the wooden platform.

"Thanks" Sunny quietly thanked them "for saving us."

"You're very welcome." The women who had been yelling all the time replied. She looked as though she was in her twenties and still had much youngness in her. Her long blonde hair went down to her elbows and her face was mostly covered by her huge, energetic smile. This lady was not the only female on this ship though. The whole crew was also girls and their mothers.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reviewing everyone. I'll try and fix grammar and spelling soon for these two chapters. (Feminists… hehehe… they make me laugh)

I refuse to put in a disclaimer because I **do **own this series so ha!!!

Chapter 2

As you may have noticed, the tale of this story you are reading is The Ferocious Finnish. You may have thought when you first quickly read the title that the title of this book was The Ferocious Finish. This however is not the Ferocious Finish. If the title of this book was The Ferocious Finish, you may expect this book to contain a conclusion to the lives of our four main characters that includes some very ferocious people and actions. But, this is not the tale of The Ferocious Finish that comes later in the tales of Beatrice and the Baudelaires that finishes off the continuation of their lives from the Series of Unfortunate Events. This is instead the first book in the continuation of their lives from the Series of Unfortunate Events. This tale, rather than talking about the ferocious finish that concludes their story, is the first tale of their continuation of their story which includes the ferocious Finnish. The Finnish, as you may know, are the people who come from Finland. Now, I am not saying that all the Finnish are ferocious, rather than saying that just these group of ferocious Finnish pirates are ferocious. These members of the ferocious Finnish pirates that are included in the title of this tale are the exact same pirates that the Baudelaires and their companion Beatrice were saved by. They are also, the same pirates now standing in front of the four of them now.

"State your names. All of them." The woman ordered.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted.

"I'll go first! My name is Lisa Yegabro." A skinny teenager said.

"My name is Henrietta and my parents never told me about my last name." A middle aged lady with a giant mole on her forehead said.

"My name is Fi-" A girl dressed in a scuba diving costume that covered up her whole body who had just climbed up the side of the ship started to say.

"Shut up! I didn't mean the crew! I meant these four!" The woman said and gestured towards the Baudelaires and Beatrice.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"Now what are your names?" The woman asked.

"I'm Violet Baudelaire."

"I'm Klaus Baudelaire."

"I'm Sunny Baudelaire."

"Baudelaire?" The women whispered under her breathe as a look of confusion washed over her face. Now you may know that when a look of confusion washes over somebody's face they are usually confused. In this case though the women named Claudia was less confused and more puzzled.

"JUNKA!" Beatrice yelled.

"Junka? Is that really her name?" The women asked.

"No. She doesn't know how to talk normally. She only speaks in gibberish." Violet explained. "She means that her name is Beatrice."

"PEY!" Beatrice corrected Violet.

"She says Beatrice Snicket." Klaus told the woman.

Once again a look of confusion took over the woman's face, which actually was more of a look of puzzlement. As you know when people are puzzled they are either trying to figure out a problem or wondering if two things have any connection. For one example I was once puzzled when I was trying to figure the answer to an equation that contained only variables. The answer was of course six when I took my time to figure it out, but until I did I was very puzzled. Another time, I was very puzzled if the fact that our math teacher was always sleeping and the fact that the problems that we were given on the board were always problems that took hours to finish, had any connection. In this case the woman was puzzled if there was any connection between these three Baudelaires and the young Baudelaire couple her ship had picked up seventeen years earlier. Not only that but, the fact that the young toddler's last name was Snicket and so was the last name of the pregnant woman she had saw floating on a pile of books a year before, had any connection. "Well… Violet, Klaus, Sunny Baudelaire and Beatrice Snicket, welcome to our ship. The _Hornet_. My name is Claudia and I am the captain of this ship." The women said.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"Thank you for saving us." Sunny repeated.

"Yes, thank you very much." Violet thanked.

"Thank you." Said Klaus.

"Fing." Beatrice thanked.

"Excuse me for being so quick to ask questions, but why are there no men on this ship? And why do you act like old times pirates?" Klaus asked.

"Well… I guess I'll forgive you. Even though you are a… boy…" Claudia said.

"Aye…"

"The reason there are no _men_ on this ship is because we are the Female Finnish Pirates or F.F.P. Since we are the _female _Finnish pirates it wouldn't make sense to have males on this ship. Now would it?" Claudia explained.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"That makes sense I guess." Violet said. "But why are you female Finnish pirates? Why don't you include males?"

"Because we are feminists." The word feminist here means a group of women who believe in the power of women and think that men have too much power. They also, believe that men are taking away their power and that it's ridiculous that men would think women should stay at home and cook all day. "We hate men. They think they can rule the world and be the superior beings. But, really woman are better. It's just for some reason all these women in the world except it. So my mother Olga…" Claudia gestured at a large and rather ugly old lady behind her. "Decided to leave Finland, where many men were treating her disrespectfully and come to the last safe place for women. The wide open ocean. She brought many other feminists she had met in her life so the could sail the open seas finding all the unfortunate women of this world, give them a new life and destroy all the unfortunate, disrespectful men that came their way."

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"But you still haven't told us why you dress like pirates." Klaus reminded Claudia.

"I was getting to that!" Claudia spat out harshly.

"Aye…"

"Wait your turn to speak you fool!" Olga yelled as she walked up to Klaus.

"I-I'm sorry." Klaus stuttered.

"Be nice to Klaus!" Sunny yelled. Olga turned to Sunny and growled. As you may know, when an ugly, old and rather large lady growls at you, it's usually a good sign to keep your mouth shut. I know from experience not to talk back to Olga, because many times she decides to step on your feet and break all your toes. Although maybe that's just people who dump her.

"Mother! These are our guests! Please." Claudia reminded her mother. Olga glared at Klaus then dragged herself below deck. "Now the reason we dress like old time pirates is because…"

"It makes us look pretty?" A girl in the crew guessed.

"It strikes fear in the dirty, rotten men we find floating through the sea?" The mother of the girl guessed.

"Olga wanted us to?" The girl in the scuba diving costume asked.

"No!!! Because it shows the world that women can dress ferociously also!!!" Claudia shouted out.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!"

"Oh…" Klaus muttered.

"Cap'n Claudia, are you done yet with our guests?" The girl in the scuba diving suit asked.

"First mate, why must you interrupt this conversation?" Claudia sighed.

"It's important. I saw Squidy underwater while I was scuba diving. He's waiting to be raised up right now." The first mate said.

"Why does that voice sound so familiar?" Violet asked herself. Indeed, the voice of the teenager should've sounded familiar, because in one of the Baudelaires' many adventures, the three Baudelaires had spent much quality time with her. But sadly, Violet, Klaus and Sunny wouldn't recognize her until chapter four of this tale.

"SQUIDY??? CREW!!! BRING MY BABY BACK UP!" Claudia demanded.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and scurried about the ship. A big crane attached to a rope which was attached to a wooden pole was dragged out to the side and dropped into the water. Three muscular women went to a lever and waited to pull it up. "First mate! Go get him!"

"Yes Cap'n." The first mate replied and dived over the side of the ship with a huge splash of water as she hit the water.

"What's a Squidy?" Sunny asked.

"I've heard of squids, but never Squidies…" Klaus said.

Claudia peered over the side of the ship and waited for the sign that the crane was ready to be pulled back up. The first mate swam back up to the surface and gave her a thumb up. "Bring it back up!" Claudia commanded the crew.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The three women by the lever strained and pulled the crane back up. The first mate scuba diver was holding onto the rope and jumped back up onto the ship when she was close enough. Attached to the metal crane was a red, giant squid that had sucked onto the metal. A jumble of red tentacles hung down from the squid creature named Squidy.

"Squidy! My baby! Have you found any treasure?" Claudia asked Squidy. Claudia was beaming with excitement. In this case though that does not mean that her friend excitement brought over a laser beam and that they decided to start beaming things for fun. In this case it means that she was very elated to see her pet squid return from the middle of the ocean where many dangers awaited, like the mysterious question mark shaped danger or the shark that had just been chasing Claudia's first mate before she climbed onto the ship.

Now right here there should be a reply to the answer of the question Claudia just asked her pet squid named Squidy. Although, as you probably know squids cannot talk. Or at least most of the squids I have met have not talked. There was one however that had a walky-talky on its back that made it seem as though it could talk. Although when I positioned a set of elaborately, clever placed mirrors so that I could see its back I knew instantly that it was a fake, talking squid. So instead of talking to answer the Captain's question, the squid raised one of its tentacles high up the air, which meant no.

"Have you found… A man?" Claudia asked.

"BOOO!!!" The various shouts of the Female Finnish Pirates rang out. Klaus, who was obviously embarrassed about being a male, even though we men have no way to help it, was looking down at his feet in shame.

The Squid answered Claudia's question by holding up two tentacles which signaled yes. With the confirmation of finding a man in the sea, all of the pirates moaned and groaned in dissatisfaction. While most people wouldn't have moaned and groaned just because a squid held up two tentacles, these pirates knew the secret language that Claudia and her beloved squid had created with each other so they could tell each other things they had figured out while exploring the seven seas and four oceans.

"And where is this man?" Claudia asked Squidy. Squidy lifted one of its slimy tentacles and pointed towards a small dot on the horizon. Everyone hurried over to the side of the deck and stared intently at the dot. "Thanks Squidy. LOAD THE CANNONS!!! Destroy whatever ship this _man_ may be on."

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and scurried below deck.

"Why? For all you know he could be a very noble man!" Klaus' voice rang out.

"BECAUSE!" Claudia shouted back at him. "If we don't destroy the ships we find men on, they may come aboard fully armed with weapons. Who knows what they might destroy then."

"Prejudging!" Sunny shouted back. This indeed was prejudging. The conflict about whether the action of prejudging is a very complicated one. You may know that in some cases if a creepy looking man with an eye patch on his eye, drives up to you in a black van with tinted windows that is usually a good thing to prejudge and come to the conclusion that you shouldn't go up to him and search for the candy he is offering to you, that is in his trunk. Although prejudging can also, be a bad thing. For example I once met that man who was creepy looking and had an eye patch before he went around offering little kids candy in his black van with tinted windows. When he saw my tattoo that had been placed upon my ankle he prejudged me and thought that I was part of a very shameful group that started fires. He quickly ran away from me to tell the cops I was running loose in the town, little did he know I was part of the side of the organization that stopped those fires which were started by the other side of the organization which started fires.

Claudia looked at Sunny and thought about what she had said. For a moment, doubt flickered in her mind, though she quickly brushed the thought away and replied "Indeed it is. But, by saying we are prejudging men you are prejudging us and thinking that prejudging men makes us bad people."

Sunny looked at Claudia and thought about what she had said. For a moment, doubt flickered in her mind, though she quickly brushed the thought away and replied "Hmm… Indeed."

After a minute of the four castaways and the captain of the Finnish female pirates standing there silently, the first mate, who now had Squidy stuck on her back walked up to Claudia.

"May we fire now?" She asked.

"No! Wait until we're closer. If we fire now they'll be able to get away and we'll just be wasting ammo." Claudia replied turning away from the castaways, leaving them hanging. 'Leaving them hanging' does not mean that Claudia walked away from the four of them as they were hanging in a bird cage that was attached to a tower atop of an evil Count's run down house. In this instant it means more that she left the four of them without any direction of what to do while they seemed to be under her authority.

For what seemed like an hour to the four of them and just happened to be an hour and seven minutes, the four of them stood there wondering what to do. After an hour the four of them recognized the kind of ship that the man was floating upon. A small sail boat that had been washed into the middle of the ocean by a horrendous storm. The small boat had sails up but didn't seem to be going in any certain direction. Instead the passengers of the boat seemed to be below deck, letting the wind decided where they washed ashore. An hour and seven minutes after Claudia walked away from them she walked over to the side of the ship and stared at the ship. Finally she turned around and screamed to the crew below. "Fire at will!"

As a resounding boom filled the castaways' ears, they thought about the horrible situation they had just been in a few moments earlier. Just an hour and a half ago they had been peacefully floating on their homemade raft trying to signal the pirates. They stared hopelessly looking at the ship as it was bombarded with cannonballs. The shots each time came very close to hitting the ship. Each time massive waves rocked their boat. Surprisingly to the four castaways and the ferocious Finnish pirates, the passengers of the boat never came aboard their boat's deck to see what was going on.

In an instance it came. Saying 'in an instance it came' is a very attention grabbing sentence if you think about. If you're watching a scary movie and all the sudden a creepy man who knows a lot about the creepy house the main characters just escaped from says "In an instance it came!" You might expect to hear about what happened many years ago when the monster or ghost first attacked. If you're reading a suspenseful book where the main characters are waiting for their once faithful friend to tell them the truth about a mysterious sugar bowl and the author suddenly writes 'And then it came. The truth finally was coming out. Olaf was finally about to tell the truth about the sugar bowl that Beatrice had gotten away with right before the diamond store just across the street burnt down when Mr. Poe decided the owner of the store no longer deserved the store.' Then you would be very interested in not only the secret truth about the sugar bowl which is something I have been sworn to secrecy never to reveal, but also the reason why Mr. Poe would do such a horrible and treacherous thing. But, in this story it only means that a cannonball unfortunately smacked down on the boat and split it into a thousand pieces.

"No!!!" The four castaways that were standing on the ship cried out.

"It's for the good of the group." Claudia whispered to them from a few feet away.

"Not for their group, though." Sunny countered while gesturing towards the completely destroyed boat. The boat which had once been fully put together was now cracking into pieces. The Beatrice and the Baudelaire's quickly noticed three unfortunate souls who were holding bottles of wine, plummet into the water. One other man who was slightly less drunk than the rest of the men resurfaced quickly, after he had been pushed under.

"They're drunk! They'll drown!" Violet shouted. "Do you expect them to live?"

"Do you expect me to care? Men who let their whole crew get drunk in the middle of the ocean don't deserve to live. They're obviously bad people." Claudia replied calmly.

"Prejudgment." Sunny stated.

"Look who's talking." Claudia said to remind her that by saying she was a bad person by prejudging might be considered prejudging in itself.

"For all you know they could've just been celebrating escaping from evil and malicious pirates like you!" Klaus spoke up. Claudia shot him a nasty glare and Klaus quickly looked away.

The five of them turned their attention back to the drunken man who was floating on a piece of drift wood as cannonballs flew past him. Let me inform you that dodging cannonballs while being drunk isn't exactly an ideal way to spend your afternoon. While the Baudelaire's challenge was difficult, the experience this man had to endure was extremely worse. As I hope none of you know, when one is drunk it is harder to concentrate and the fact that cannonballs are flying at you doesn't exactly make things easy while you're floating on a piece of drift wood.

"I doubt that floating on a piece of drift wood while cannonballs are hurling at you is an ideal situation when you also happen to be drunk." Violet thought aloud.

"Doonk?" Beatrice asked. By this she probably meant something along the lines of _what's drunk mean?_

"It means your head hurts and you can't think as well." Violet lied, while also including a bit of truth.

"Like a headache." Sunny added in.

As the ship drew closer to the wreckage of the boat, Claudia slowly made her way towards the top deck. When they got close enough for the man to quickly swim over, Claudia shouted to her crew "Get up here!"

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" They shouted as they all left the cannons and came on deck.The girl in the scuba diving suit ran over to the side of Claudia. The red squid named Squidy still clung to her back.

"Shall we lower the life boats?" The first mate asked.

"I don't know. Let's think about that, shall we crew?" Claudia asked. "Think about it. This man is drunk. His mates, who were probably some of his best friends if he was sharing a lot of drinks with em', just died. In his present state he'll obviously be very hostile and want to get revenge for what we have done. Why should we let him on if we'll only end up having to kill him?"

"But won't he die either way? He'll drown if we don't take him up." The first mate reminded her.

"But then we'll save time. We'll also be ensuring our safety and saving us from having to murder him directly." Claudia said.

"But, he might not be hostile and might be a gentleman." A young girl in the crowd of the crew said.

"HAHA!!! GENTLEMAN??? You have no clue what you're talking about. Gentlemen don't exist! The only men who seem like gentlemen are only despicable men who try to get on our good side so we don't slap them when they try to hit on us." Claudia chuckled.

"That's a complete lie!" Klaus defended himself.

"Shut up!" Several crew members replied to his remark.

"Take this _boy_ for example. He only tried to act polite at first so we wouldn't lock him up for all the treachery in the world he has caused. Although, now that he knows we don't like him either way, he doesn't care about being polite." Claudia remarked.

"That's not true!" Sunny yelled back at her. "Klaus is always polite to everyone, not to get on their good side, but because he's a good person!"

"What do you know? You're barely old enough to talk in complete sentences." Claudia replied.

"You're barely sane enough to not kill every man you see the minute you see them." Violet insulted Claudia.

"See what this male has done to these girls? This guy has turned a gentle and loving female like these three into ferocious and impolite animals." Claudia announced to the crew.

"Juck?" Beatrice asked and pointed towards the man who was suddenly drowning. By this she probably meant something like _that man is now drowning!_

"That man is drowning." Violet translated.

"We have to save him!" The first mate ordered.

"No!" Claudia refused.

As the argument of whether to save the man or not went on, Violet decided that if that man was going to be saved, she would have to save him herself. "Come on." Violet told her siblings. She rushed over to the life boat and started to jiggle the ropes and pulleys. Klaus and Sunny rushed over to help her.

"Don't worry. We'll have you up here in a minute." Klaus shouted down to the man.

"What are they doing?" Claudia asked. "STOP THEM!!!"

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" Half of the crew shouted and ran over to the three of them. Meanwhile Beatrice had tugged on one of Squidy's tentacles and was now playing a game of tickle fight with the red sea creature. Half of the crew hesitated and wondered if they should help the man get onto the ship or stop the three castaways who were trying to lift him up. Either way it was too late to change anything. The three siblings had gotten the man into the life boat and were now lifting him up.

"What… the… heck?" The man wondered aloud as he staggered onto the ship. To try and imagine his confused state as he staggered onto the ship, while you are sitting at home, peacefully reading this story is useless. Imagine this. You were having a drink with your buddies on a boat when all the sudden a cannonball comes crashing through your boat and you're tossed into the sea. As you drift through the sea cannonballs are being shot from a ship flying a flag with a pirate symbol imprinted on it. All the sudden a life boat is lowered down to you and you step inside. You're suddenly lifted up to a deck with a baby battling a squid, female pirates staring at you scared and angry, three kids staring at you with smiles on their faces and a woman standing in a scuba diving outfit. To top it off, you're drunk and everything makes less sense than usual.

"Lock our castaways up." Claudia ordered her crew.

"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and grabbed the Baudelaires and the drunken man.

"No trials?" The first mate in the scuba diving outfit asked.

"Not now. It's too dangerous right now. We'll deal with them later." Claudia replied.

"What's going on here?" The man stuttered.

"Shut up you filthy rat." Claudia replied and spat on him.

"How dare you!" The man replied flabbergasted. "You'll learn to… _respect_… your betters!" The man said, obviously drunk.

The crew quickly dragged the Baudelaire's and the drunken man down towards the brig deep within the ship. Luckily for Beatrice, no one had noticed her and the squid. The crew dispersed under the ship and Claudia headed towards the captain's quarters. Beatrice was left unwatched with a red squid. Beatrice stood up then fell back down on her knees and followed the Baudelaires below deck.

As the Baudelaires were leaded down through the smelly and damp passageways in the ship, the drunken man was busy trying to talk his way out of being locked up. The only thing had accomplished though, was to be slapped three different times. Tears streamed down the faces of the Baudelaires. They were crying because by leaving the only place they had ever found that was a peaceful one, they had been thrown back into a world of treachery once again. But, more importantly, they had all just realized that Beatrice had been left on deck unsupervised. This put them in a sticky situation.

By being in a sticky situation it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in a situation in which a sticky substance, like syrup or gum, has gotten stuck all over you. In this situation it meant that it was a hard situation to get out of and had many hard decisions to be made. If Violet, Klaus or Sunny were to remind the crew that they had forgotten Beatrice and left her above deck, their friend who was just a baby, would also be thrown into a cage full of cold and dirty water. On the other hand if they didn't remind them, then Beatrice would be very close to the edge of the ship which she could fall over and then her tiny baby screams would not be heard from down there. Luckily for them, they noticed the small figure of a baby that reminded them much of Beatrice, crawling after them.

The Baudelaires and the man were dragged down to the lowest room on the ship which was filled an inch up with dirty water. Beatrice quickly slipped through the door and hid behind a box hidden in the corner. The crew members opened the cage and gestured them inside.

"AND WHAT IF I DON'T WANTA GO IN???" The man screamed in their faces. The crew looked at each other and smiled. They put their hands on a something near their waste and pulled it out. The blades of swords came shining out lightning fast. A member of the crew raised their sword so it was right up to the man's neck.

"Must I really explain?" The lady said. Sinister giggles came from the rest of the crew as the man backed up into the cage, in fear. "You three! Get in there!

"Yes ma'm." Klaus said politely and quickly stepped inside, followed by Violet and Sunny. The crew giggled some more then slammed the barred door shut. They took out a set of keys and locked the door in place. The crew opened the door and slipped outside.

The man who was just a moment ago yelling in a furious rage, had now slumped to the floor in a deep sleep. "Beatrice? Are you there?" Sunny asked.

Beatrice stepped out from behind the box and replied "Depo." This probably meant something like _I'm right here_.


End file.
